Stupidity Kills..

*(Still at the starting point..)

I had thoughts in the rain.
Questions like "Why am I here?", "Why am I wet?", "What am I doing?", "Why am I doing this?", "Who am I doing this for?", "Why do I not see you?", "Why are you not here?"..
I thought you were going to be here.. I really thought so..

Why did I think you were gonna be here..One word describes all.."Stupidity"..
Stupidity made me follow you that day..
Stupidity made me hurt myself picking up the memories..
Stupidity made me keep the memories..
Stupidity made me stand in the rain..
Stupidity made me wait for you..
Stupidity made me think you were gonna be here..

This nightmare has indeen not yet ended..But it all started with my ownself's stupidity..
I'm sorry..but I really did blame you some time ago..but now I know..
It wasn't you who killed me..It was my stupidity that did..

"Stupidity Kills! Stupidity Kills..Sandra!..Wake up!"
Ha..
I still didn't let go of the box.

Losing to a Box of Memories

I turned back after picking every piece of memory up..walking the trail once more..making sure I did not leave any behind..Whew..Finally a breath of fresh air..

With the memories in my arms, I arrived at the starting point of all this..
This point brings back memories.. remembering how everything came together..remembering how sudden it appeared in my life..*sigh

I found a box.just big enough to fit everything in..
I closed it tight..so tight I bet even the memories are breathless..
Good, keep it that way..I don't want them to fade away..
Making one last check in case of any leaks..I picked the box up and walked outside..

I stood there..Like an idiot you may say..waiting..waiting..waiting..

Then it started to rain, I still stood there, again like an idiot....Waiting.
I was cold but I stood there..I was shivering but I stood there..

The rain stopped and there was the sun again..
I felt warm on the outside but still, there were chills in my heart..
I waited, again like an idiot under the sun..I waited..

It started to rain again, and it stopped, it rained, it stopped, it rained and it stopped..over and over the weather went on for days..and where was I?
Still there..Waiting..

Did I cry?Or were they just raindrops....
This chill in my heart was getting stronger day by day..I started to shiver under the sun..
Was it me or was it the weather?Guess all the rain and sun has started to get to me..I started going mad..
I cried in the rain..and shivered when it's sunny..Yup..must be mad..
I wait.. I waited for nothing..No no..I waited for you..hmph..Definitely mad..

Disappointed, I held the box tighter as it seemed like the only light in life at that point..
I'm losing myself..Ha..Can you believe it..? I'm losing myself to a box of memories that I actually believed in replaying once more..

What..What ever was I waiting for..?

Memories of Collecting Pass Memories

One piece, two pieces, three pieces and so on..

Counting the memories of the past as I walked this incomplete trail once more..

When the trail finally stopped dead.. my heart dropped dead..

My hands now covered in blood as every piece of memory either pricked or pierced me whole..both my hands and my heart..

The trail was too short a distance..At this point, I cried..

Has it all ended in these few pieces of memories?

Has it been so short a time?

Will you ever come back just to guide me through this nightmare you've created?

Will you ever come back and notice that all the broken memories are gone?

So many memories..but it only took me less than a day's time to finish looking back on..

Was this at all that worthy?


Ask me:

Do I regret having followed you in here?
Do I regret getting myself into a situation like this?
Do I regret keeping the memories even though they hurt me?
Do I regret letting myself bleed upon these pass memories?
Do I regret my endless love for you?

No, I don't..I really don't..and for the last question, I never did..





P/S: You can break my heart not once not twice but a thousand times and it'll still go back to its original shape one day..so don't worry about me..
I will find my way out of here..will find my way out with a whole new set of memories..Happy ones of course..to lead the way..
I'll leave this place..never to come back..one day I will..and one day I will..without you..

You don't know (II) Broken memories..

I give up! I give up!
Stop..I beg you..stop! You couldn't hear me..


I choose and I've chosen..


..I ran towards you once more..


I picked them up..
Every piece of memory felt like broken glass.. so fragile but yet they may hurt you..
Clutching each and every piece of memory in my arms..
I started to bleed..I started to cry..

I worry.. worry I won't be able to chase up..
I kept on running.. trying to find a sign of you..not letting go of the memories in my arms..


But in the end..you're gone..you left..
You led me in here and left me once again..
Leaving everything behind.. waiting for me to hurt myself picking them up..

And from that day, I was lost..
Lost between you and a whole trail of broken memories..

Left alone..Hurt..I cried..
And yet..




You still don't know..




(Obviously I'm talking about someone..)

You don't know (I)..Memory trail..

You don't know..
How my eyes get teary every time I look back at you..
You don't know..
How my heart hurts every time I set my eyes on you..

But yet you continue to move on..
You're moving forward..drifting away..never looking back..
Leaving you clueless of what's happening over here..
Leaving me staring at your back thats drifting further and further away..
Leaving me reminiscing of what's left of you..

You continue to move on..
You leave just like how Hansel and Gretel did..leaving behind a trail..Instead of pebbles you left a trail of memories..throwing them away at every step you make..
You're leaving a trail, a track for me to follow..

I stand before this trail, walking back and forth at its presence..thinking whether I should follow on..thinking whether I should follow you into this never ending forest..thinking whether I should pick the memories up and keep them..I'm still so reluctant to let go..

One piece..Two pieces..Three pieces of memories dropping off from your arms..One by one, they fall..
*Thum Thum..
I can feel my heart as though being caned everytime they hit the ground..Once, twice, three times..
Stop..Stop throwing them away..


To be continued..

My Sixteenth Valentine's Day

Hello everyone!! First wanna wish you guys Happy Valentine's ya!!
haha
my title says my 16th but dunno la when we were still young also dunno what's tht=.=
ok don care la o.O
this year a we brought cake and sparkling champagne to school leh haha so good ho!!eat until fat lu.. we all ate..aiiya ah lo first time reject food!(next day all newspapers headlines lu!) ha!
today's also not only valentine jek got ppl's birthday, name: choklaton. haha HApPY BIrtHDay!!
Eat xia eat xia the cake leh..then notice ho the cake quite big de=.= cant finish.. so gave it to some more special friends haha fun ones la of course ahha yes lin li min i'm talking bout you!
then finish drinking liao we used the bottle to play truth or dare aiiya.. actually now i regret why i didnt pick dare haiz..don care la history meh just leave it to be history..
after playing leh before go home we had a friendship hug haha..cant imagine how we'll be like 10 years from now..will we still be friends by then??ha!this is a must la of course!


After tht, have to come back school again..interact X games!!haha!!play till okok lo not specially fun but okay..and ooooohhh..i LLLLLOOOOOOVVVVEEEE playing with water oh yes i do!!

after we finished we went to change and clean up..after all the blabbering by the ppl in front(no offence =>)we went to eat and drink. yummy! milo taste so damn good. been running with an empty stomach whole day(I'm so sorry my always full tummy).finally FOOD!! i went to take bread to feed my bobbies(the tortoises and fishes in the pond, due to the lack of creativity, I named them Bobby 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,Bobby 9=Samantha;p) afterwards. at least i think there were 8 of them in the pond=.= feed xia feed xia never thought bobby 1 would be so full that it spit out some bread in the end..bad bobby..polluting the pond..haiz..have to teach them the manners of eating(for aquatic animals living in a pond edition) next time haha!!

went back home eat KFC..then went to talk with my sis..talk whole night cause she's going to australia tomorrow * sob sob..

today's feelings: hmm..i can say tht beer tastes sweeter than today

Sports Day Journal 2..Muahaha!

This morning a, when i just woke up only ho, straight away feel dao back pain a, waist pain a, shoulder pain lagi..Adui sakitnya! So very the painful leh!

ok la then meh go school lo. When I reach school ho then notice today weather not bad jek..haha..then meh go padang lo..go on the Kan Tai there then notice only junior students can sit=.= ceh
apalah ni?! where got like tht de huh? wan us suffer like tht!then we meh go find place to sit/stand lo..in the end end up at the car park there..aii..so cham a.. but nvm! today damn high de!

Walao me and Lin li min a haiz went crazy today! Keep on singing the same old Sharon theme song to help her add oil..not bad ho.. quite fun also de but so the hot la!

okay wait serious now..

After watching a few matches we got bored so we started to talk..Talk talk talk..get high see match..talk again get high see match over and over and over and over and over again..then the cassandra a haiz..(I wanted to report her to the teacher de but see her as a friend I changed my mind)..She..PLUCK MOST OF THE FLOWERS TO MAKE HER WEIRD NECKLACES AND BRACELETS eh! sometimes really dissapointed in her la..then i saw sammi run leh so serious her face fuiyo! breathe breathe breathe run run run so funny ha!(no la Kidding)^^ then saw sim li ting aiiya so cham her she fainted leh..wanted to go save her like super hero de but nvm la couldnt jump over the bush..XD

then the chang ching yi meh run also. wa !fast wer good job
ah lo(D.A) also. in the end still fling hands one
ew also run
let me see
oh ya and got the open race i wanted to join but still..couldnt jump over the tall and endless bush..Haiz..

see how hard life is with a bush in front of you..
i think thats it gua..oh ya shoes and mushy mud dont go well together but bare feet do haha!
after tht meh go home lu!

P/S:Oh ya, I got trophy leh..silver de leh..for tug of war..go pull a rope get trophy not bad jek ;)
thats all for today muahhahaha! TTFN TaTa For Now!

Sports Day Journal 1..Wakaka!

Wei, you guyz sports day fun a not huh?
haha..
that cassandra a..come to school so late make ppl think she didnt come =.=" haiz so lazy..
hmm..really wan pei fu xia those ppl marching in the rain de..show your stuff haha
wowow!
our class got lots of ppl get prize de wer..
ah lo racing got silver and bronze!!(tomorrow get gold de lu)
sammi got bronze leh(know you won run last de la!)
er
michelle leh so kuat haha, blue house lose to them o haiz in tug o war..
wonder who else got prize.. ew for sure got right?
haiz..two matches of tug o war already make my hand and waist so soar lo Ngiao~
(Sandra..getting old lo ha!)
don wanna senka or anything but i thought i played a very big part in the match today :p( senka)
don mind me la just can senka this only didnt participate in anything else haha
not bad la..whole day sitting down also quite boring de but had fun la in the mud!ha i liked it so mushy!
Congrats to our winners!!

Muahaha..to be continued..

谎言

心。。我该感谢你吗？

感谢你这么久以来从不对我说谎。。总是在告诉我真相。。

可是，这次，就当我求你好了，这次能够不告诉我真相吗？

这次我需要的却是你的欺骗。。让我日子好过一点。。



告诉我：我不喜欢他。
告诉我：我不在乎他。

就这么一次。。

当他在我面前时，你就别跳动加速，让我难堪。

当他对我好时，你也别停顿几拍，让我顿时不知所措。

我要恢复以前，就像以前那样，我就是最幸福的。。

心。。只要你肯听话，我们会渡过难关的。。

就把这场暗恋当成一场重重的感冒而已，让它慢慢地复原。。

Valentine's Day~~~~~~~~~

Okay since I already wrote so much lovey dovey stuff haha
now it's time for fun stuff!
Chinese New Year!!next is Valentines Day!!you guys ready??
for those who are waiting to confess, be brave on that day..去拼了！Good Luck!!^^
for those who are already in love, I wish you the best!
Valentines Day: A pretty day filled with roses, champagne, pink heart-shaped balloons..hmm..and what else??

Lots and Lots of LOVE haha..

To all my friends, HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!
Muackxx~~

Love,
Sandra

心语。。

我。。为什么会喜欢上你。。?
我。。为什么会爱上了你。。?

一起又玩又闹了那么久。。到最后，你还不是选了另一条路。。让我一个人落寞地在一个角落。。
你，因为有了她而忽视了我。。
自己有时还会假装看不见在亲密的你们。。哼。。很傻，对吧？哈。。

说了不再嫉妒，说了不再在乎。。
说了要祝福你们。。
说了要放手，决定要放开一切。。可是为什么。。为什么我总会在你们的身后徘徊。。
我还是办不到。。
为什么对你不舍。。有时想把你们隔离得越远越好。。忍不住想要打扰你们。。
明知道这样做很坏，我也不过是在白费力气而已。。你以为我不想放弃这没出息的爱吗？
但我却忘不了。。忘不了。。

我。。究竟该往何处去才好。。我在绝望里总是看不见答案。。

整天都这么装下去，你以为我想吗？


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Mirotic 魔咒(Mandarin Version)

那雾 那烟 那迷 那幻 那光 那灯 好诱惑
你靠近我旋转着用你念力拥抱我
傻傻在等待会失败woowoo~~
那近 那远 那日 那夜 那城 那断掉的梦
都不要来纠缠我 现在我是主人翁 这里都是爱 让你爱 wowo

*你要我做主 我要你臣服 high到最深处 再也不孤独
I got you under my skin
你要我做主 我要你臣服 High到最深处 完美的演出
I got you under my skin

我让你醉 我让你疯 我让你中了魔咒 你的血液 你的呼吸 充满我费洛蒙
这是不是爱让你猜hoho
怎样吻能不能间断 有了我就会足够 步入你的规则 搅乱你的心头
什么都别再说 贴着我 - - hoho
*你要我做主 我要你臣服 high到最深处 再也不孤独
I got you under my skin
你要我做主 我要你臣服 High到最深处 完美的演出
I get you under my skin

Rap Part
I love it when you got no shame ！ do damn thing so insane
you love it when i play your game！ work that brain i'm in your aim！ yeah i'm in your aim！
you know you got it！Yeah


爱的烟火瞬间爆发出烟的寂寞(love this part^^)我的魔咒要你听从一刻不思索
I got you under my skin
现在以后把你的心全部交给我 别再犯错我就是你唯一的选择 I got you under my skin
*你要我做主 我要你臣服 high到最深处 再也不孤独 I got you under my skin
你要我做主 我要你臣服 High到最深处 完美的演出 I got you under my skin

一个人。。

“老伯伯，你怎么会一个人在这儿?"

“噢，想出来散散心吗。”

“可是，你为什么会是一个人的呢？”

“哎，没了老伴，当然一个人啦。。！”

“老伯伯，啊，老伯伯，你这样一个人的，孤不孤单啊？”

“Hoho..孤单啊。。当然孤单。。!"

“那么，老伯伯，一个人的感觉，还会怎样的啊？”

“嗯..一个人的感觉。。很悲伤，还加一点痛痛的。。”

“痛？是哪里痛啊？”

“哈。。当然是心痛啊！”

“心痛？心会痛吗？心为什么会痛呢？”

“哈哈。。年轻人啊，年轻人。。等你有了爱情你就会明白。。哈哈。。”



一个人会孤单。。会寂寞。。

一个人会悲伤。。会心痛。。

哼。。这一点我懂。。而且比谁都还懂。。




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L.O.V.E. ..ha..

My life isn't easy with you
My life also isn't any easier without you..
What do you want me to do..

Sometimes, I just wish you would just smile at me as if 'she' were in front of you..
At least it wouldn't hurt so much..

why did I ever fall in love with you?

Blogging?!

I seriously dunno what to do with this blog thingy o.O..
i wanna follow blogs and how do I do tht??I think i clicked something turns out I'm following my own blog=.=
i wanna follow other ppl's blog HELP!!