I

This dream, I was going to war empty handed.
The enemies were nearing, with their weapons as we speak.
This suicidal move, they come at me. Slashing and at this time whose help is that may I seek.
I look up and kneel before The one we all fear, pray that no matter what happens, please protect the people I dear.

I hear alarms ringing, telling me to wake up from this dream.
This feeling of drowning is so real, more real than it may have seem.
What was suppose to be an adventure turns into a horror movie.
These panic attacks happen all the time and at night I can't breathe.
It's like I committed a crime.
My thoughts are sins replaying themselves again and again.
Like broken records not wanting to stop, repeating the same chorus till my mind's about to pop.
It's like a fight against myself, I'm punching myself up good.
Broken teeth, broken nose, mind fucked up and still there is where I stood.
Don't tell me everything will be fine. This blood I have on my hand is all just mine.

Wake up.
You've been dreaming again. I'm not sure bout mental illnesses but this could be a sign.
I pray that You send someone from above to guide me. I think it's really time.
I'm feeding the wolf inside me.
Am I wrong? I'm just trying to survive in this brainwashed, greedy society.
Brain so fucked up, it's controlling me. Takin over.
My heart turning stone cold.
If it turns metal, I'm hoping it turns to gold.
See what I mean? I'm not what I used to be.
Injured my own mind and soul.
And now it's weak. One blow and I'll be brought down to my all time low.
"We're here for you." I look into the mirror, see the people I love say.
See my self, I smash it cause at the moment I feel like a piece of worthless, trash shit.

70000 thoughts per day and half of I don't want to see.
My brain cells intoxicated. Adrenaline in my systems activated.
These symptoms I have elucidated. I feel contaminated.
I wear black to show people how I'm like on the inside.
Let's take a tour of me. Ladies and Gents, you're in for a dark ride.

80 beats per minute rising to 160. Panic Attack is back and who will come and save me.

I hold a picture of a 7-year-old girl in my hands.
She looks back at me and say "I don't know you no more."
Don't look at me like this. You've swore you'll never turn this way.
Now it's all nothing but something that you just say.
Now look now, This is you in the future.
Don't blame me. This is yourself bout to be shaped by human nature.